um....i don't have a title again...:)
by SpeedBump
Summary: just call it whatever...it'll answer to anything so long as you feed it...:)...another fic from me....because I'm bored and it's Sunday and I could be doing homework...but I'm not....:):):):):)


  
um....well....um....well....:)....here is my story....:)....the character are not mine...no infringment is intended...:).....  
  
How the hell am I supposed sleep? Everytime I close my eyes I feel the breeze on my face, his arms around me,and my blood raceing through my temples with a frantic pace. The memory of that kiss haunts me. It creeps up on me at odd times and once again I feel the echo of my heartbeat and the gost of his lips on mine again.   
  
I streched out my arm and pulled the phone off the table and set it on my pillow where I could look at it. I know he's busy with Renee right now, but I still want to call him. Just to hear his voice and maybe I'll have the courage to blurt it out over the phone and hang up and we could have a whole big discussion and resolve the issue and I could get some sleep. But I know I won't.  
  
It's not the only moment. There are many that we've had and they're all perfectly organized and catolouged in my brain waiting for a chance to shove themselves in my face and explain to my head once again why it is I will never marry Mic. I think my heart eggs them on. My head doesn't listen though. She's a strong independent woman who knows no needs or weakness. She will not allow her judgement to become clouded by the swirling emotions of the fickle Heart. She stares straight ahead, her feet planted firmly on the fair grounds of reason, but Heart, Heart is a completely different woman. (A/N: is this too abstract? Am I loseing you?....well dern....:)....I'll get to the point don't worry...:))  
  
Heart knows no reason. Heart thumbs her nose at the mind's sense and rages where she will, like a beautiful wild creature, never captured, never held. Heart roams the lonely great plains of dreams, searching for the one-....that's where I fell asleep....I tend to get poetic late at night...sorry...anyways. So i managed to get some sleep, about 5 hours according to my internal clock. But it wasn't my clock that woke me up. There was soemthing else, the battle sensors were ringing full blast. Because, because, someone.....was leaning over the bed, touching my face. Then I felt his hand on my arm and in my half-concious state something in me surged up in answer to the touch and I recognized Harm. I remember mumbling something and then I think I smiled and drifted back off.   
  
----------------Harm's POV.....:)-------  
  
When Mac didn't appear at work and wasn't answering either of her phones I got worried and drove over to her house, panic rising in me. I used her key to get in, feeling slightly guilty over the fact that she was engaged and I still had her house key instead of her fiancee. But you know what? Maybe I don't feel so guilty after all. He is a moronic bastard. Anyways i found the sleeping beauty still in bed, aglow in the morning sunlight. I had to swallow hard and force my eyes away from her exposed legs as I approached She had circles under her eyes and was plainly exhausted. Poor girl i thought, not that I would EVER let on that I pitied her. No, I feared a good old Marine Corps butt-kicking too much for that. I crouched down by her pillow and looked at her face. She had the phone on the side of the bed and her hand curled around the base of it protectivly. Damn you Mic. (A/N: I'm sorry, in my stories Harm likes to cuss....:)...he IS a sailior...:)) You kept her up all night waiting for you to call her. Sarah, as i privetly refer to her, showed signs of stiring. She sighed and wriggled her nose a bit. I watched for a few minuets, a smile comeing unbidden to my face. Then I forgot where and when i was and did something stupid. I slowly reached out my hand and brushed an eyelash from her sun-warmed cheek. She didn't move and I dared not breath incase I had woken her. She finaly sighed and muttered.   
  
"Harm." then a smile curled her mouth and she drifted back off. My big tough guy heart melted into a huge puddle around my feet. I stood up and moved back from the bed. I found a chair by the foot of the bed with a clear view of her face and I sat in it. I don't know how long I sat, but it was dark when her eyes slid open.  
  
----------------------Mac again...:)-------------  
  
And that's the next thing I remember is being on my feet in my dark bed room faceing a shadowy figure in the chair in the corner. Harm chuckled.   
"At ease." I frowned and checked the internal clock. I'd been asleep....way too long. It was 1800 and I had just missed an entire day of work. My mouth struggled to connect with my brain and form sentances.   
"Harm." He clicked on the lamp by him and stood up.   
"It's okay. I was just worried when you didn't show and I came by to check." He streched and frowned at his watch. "I guess I fell alseep too. Sorry." I stared at him, my mouth open. The breeze rushed past my ears and his face looked down at me through moonlight as my heart pounded in my throat and I was once again on a darkened pier. I felt my heart beat like the distant pounding of the surf and I took a half a step towards himbefore....  
It all dissapeared and it was just me and him in my bedroom. I came fully awake and aware of my surroundings. He was still stareing at me. Damn...i think I just blushed. What the hell was I wearing that he was watching me like that? I looked down. Boxers and a USMC t-shirt. When I looked back up Harm was no longer stareing at me and he had moved across the room to the doorway. He paused and looked back at me.   
"You don't look like you've been getting a lot of sleep lately. Is there anything wrong? Problems with Mic?" I frowned.   
"No, why would you think that?" Harm gestured to the bed.   
"Unless you normaly sleep with the phone like that." I swivled around. Damn again. I fell asleep with the phone on my pillow. How was I going to explain? I shrugged and rubbed at my eyes.   
"I was going to call someone. I don't remember who." Harm watched me carefuly. He could always tell when I was lying. In the end he just shrugged and smiled at me.   
"Well I guess I'd better be going. Sorry for camping out in your bedroom." I smiled back at him.   
"It's okay." He grinned his flyboy grin and moved towards the door. I waited for my knees to become trustworthy again before I followed.   
  
My heart and my brain had some serious discussions over the next few hours and my heart decided that my brain couldn't be trusted and my brain decided the same thing about my heart, so it was looking like a stalemate. I peeked outside. The full moon was obscured by the heavily laden clouds. I smiled. I could use a good run in the rain. Who knows? Maybe I could resolve a few of my interal conflicts. I yanked on a pair of sweat pants and sneakers and headed out the door. According to my internal clock it was 20:00. The park would be deserted.   
  
Upon reaching the park the first fewraindrops flattened themselves upon my windsheild, but I didn't care. I pulled on a windbreaker and put up the hood and took off. I ran, not looking at the park around me, just watching the concrete path in front of me. And somewhere, deep down inside me I could hear my old DI's voice, driving me on. I ran, and I ran, searching somewhere inside me for a resolution to the turmoil I found myself a part of.  
  
The light rain let up and the moon slid into view behind a few thunderheads. The light flooded the woods where I was. I broke out of the trees and paused, my head flung back with my breath pounding my throat, stareing at the one exposed section of sky. I could see O'Ryan's belt and I smiled. My heart and brain reached a consensus that they were tired of this and always being the one to move first. The plan of action was one of passiveness. Let him suffer as I have suffered over this issue, and then maybe we'll get somewhere. I bent down and took off my shoes and walked barefoot up a small grassy hill. I laid down in the sweet-smelling blades and watched the sky. There was a step behind me and I tensed.   
"Can't sleep?" Harm's voice was soft and haunted. I sat up and turned around.   
"Harm! What are you doing here?" He sat down beside me and gave me a small smile.   
"I couldn't sleep either." I turned back to the stars. Harm watched me and I felt myself getting tense again. I laid back on the grass and he watched me, then followed me.   
"Aren't they pretty?" I could barely hear myself, I don't know how he did. He nodded and turned his head in the grass to meet my eyes. I could feel the wheels in his head grinding.  
"Let me ask you something." His voice was barely above a whisper but it forced me to meet his eyes and I suddenly I couldn't move, couldn't breathe. I managed to nod somehow and he goes on.   
"If there wasn't a Mic, or a Renee, would you kiss me right now?" Well, that passive stratagy worked pretty quick, i'd say. That is, if my vocal chords are capeable of working right now. I blink and look back at the stars. I shrug. He keeps watching me. I really wish he wouldn't. It makes my slightly paranoid. He frowns at me and asks,  
"What do you mean?" I think I'm blushing again.  
"Depends." He mutters,  
"On what?" I turn to look at him and I immediately regret that decision. He's much closer than I thought he was. I feel my cheeks redden again. I swallow hard and manage to get out.   
"On your answer." he sighes and rolls on his side to face me. I stare blankly at the stars, unable to meet his gaze. He slowly places a hand on my cheek and watches me for a moment. I figit and end up glancing at him for a moment. He smiles, leans down, and kisses me.   
I think my heart stopped. I lay completely still for a long moment and then somehow my arms ar around his neck and I'm kissing him back desparatly. His hand cradles my waist and Brain begins to silently threaten him with the plauges of the universe if he's just playing with Heart.   
He pulls back a little and i am suddenly concious of my blood throbbing in my temples and my breath being yanked from my chest. He smiles and opens his mouth to say those fateful words that will decide our future relationship and I suddenly can't stand hearing them. My mouth falls open and I hear myself mutter.   
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." And then I'm on my feet and down the hill, Harm protesting behind me. I yank on my shoes and I'm off downthe path. I can hear Harm's sneakers pounding behind me but I have the advantage of running for my life, and he's only chaseing his best friend. I sprint to my car and slide in and I'm off into the night as Harm comes pounding up the trail.   
  
Brain spent some more time berateing Heart for being such a stupid, gulible, eager, bimbo. And Heart spent lots of time in her corner crying. But she emerged with a strict ultimatum for Brain. There might not be a Harm, but there certianly wasn't going to be a Mic. The Brain finaly accepted and a late-night phone call was made to Mic's apartment and everything was quietly broken off. I placed my ring in my mailbox and by the next morning it was gone, and so was Mic.  
  
No one really noticed at the office, but I told Harriet so the word would get around and all the arrangements would be cancled. Everyone dropped by the next few weeks to see if I was doing alright, even the Admiral. I just smiled and thanked them. Harm and I continued working as normal and we never spoke of that night and Heart became secluded and mopey. Brain too seemed a little put off, but she never let it affect her work. Then about three months later on a Friday night someone knocked on my door. (A/N:Does that sound hokey?...I think it sounds hokey...oh well...:))  
  
I looked through the peephole and saw the back of Harm's head. I feel the walls go up inside and I open the door. He turns around and smiles a bit self-conciously.   
"Hi." is all he says. I smile falsely and reply with,   
"Hi." We stand there a moment, smileing at each other like fools, both wondering what the other is thinking and then I come to my senses and move aside so he can come in. He moves past me and I close the door, wondering why the hell he's here. My pulse is already raceing and he hasn't said anything yet. He's standing in the foyer takeing off his jacket. I move past him into the kitchen.   
"You want something to drink?" He shakes his head and remains in the foyer. I frown and get myself a glass of milk. When I come back out he's got his arms crossed and he's got his 'no comprimises' face on. I raise my eyebrows.   
"What' s up?" His eyes bore into mine.   
"Why'd you run away?" I don't pretend to not know what he's talking about. I turn away from him, the glass of milk shakeing in my hand.   
"I don't know." I walk to the window and look out it. I can scarely breathe. "I've had a lot of time to think about it. I guess it just scared me." He moves towards me.   
"Why?" I shake my head and turn to put the glass back in the kitchen before I drop it but he's blocking my way. I meet his eyes and I think I'm crying.   
"I don't know." I whisper. I look down through my tears as he moves closer to me. He grabs the glass with his hand, his fingers closeing over mine and I can feel my breath catch, but i don't look up. He slowly takes the glass and sets it on a nearby table. As soon as the glass is on the table I fling my arms around his neck and sob unrestrainedly into his shirt. He holds me and mutters nice things that I can't hear over my noisy sobs.   
Eventualy I run out of tears and we're left in silence both holding onto eachother like it's the end of the world. I slowly release my death grip on his shirt and back out of his arms. I gesture to his shirt and mutter,   
"I'm sorry about your shirt." He smiles.   
"It's okay. Feel better?" I manage to smile at my shoes and nod. He steps closer and mutters,   
"Since there isn't a Mic or a Renee, are you ever going to let me kiss you?" I feel my heart stop for the millionth time that night and without realizeing what I'm doing my hands reach up and grab Harm's ears and pull his mouth to mine. He relaxes into the kiss and joy springs up into me and I kiss him feircely. I can feel him grining as he pulls me closer. Heart once again thumbs her nose at Brain. We break apart smileing and he whispers,  
"I think that answers that queston." as he smooths some hair back from my face. My emotional stamina runs out and I am suddenly overwhelmingly tired. I drop my head to his shoulder and lean against him. I don't remember going to bed.  
  
When I wake the next morning I am immediately concious of the other body on the bed with me. My eyes flutter open and he's there, watching me through the early morning light that's streaming though my window. I think I blush and I look down. He's lying fully dressed on top of the covers and I am lying....I glance under the sheets....semi-clothed under the covers. My eyes flick back up to meet his. He's smileing.  
"Did you have a good time undressing me last night?" He grins at me.   
"You snore." I make a face at him and he laughs. I pull him closer to me and lay my head on his shoulder. He kisses my hair and we both drift off....  
  
...there....was that okay?....I don't know....I think I am a hopeless romantic sap...what about you?...:)  
  
  
  



End file.
